Thursday, September 25, 2008

Breaking News! Breaking News! Special F'n Report!

I received some life changing information today! Apparently there are significantly more people viewing this here little blog than I was aware of. Just as I am thinking there were only like four people that even look at dAndy's Own I found out there are like four more people that look at this. So yeah, I just found out that my viewership is at least double that of what I expected. Oh yeah, look out KSK and BFO, dAndy is an up and comer in the blogoshpere!

There is only one catch. These people know me and know me well and it just so happens they believe everything on here (I really did kill that hog by the way). The best part about it is that some of these folks haven't believed a word out of my mouth for like 5 fucking years. Hell, my integrity was already questioned today by one of them. However, there is something magically good that has come from this. If you have credibility issues with a loved one or family member just create your own blog and all of your problems will be solved. That's right, if you read something on the Internet it has to be true! So let me check to see if www.iwishmywifewouldbelieveme.blogspot.com is available. Bingo you're in!

If that was your blog and you were caught up in some shit just blog about it and then wait for the people involved to find out. Here's an example.....

I feel so hurt right now. A great relationship is based upon trust, I know that much, but for some reason it just isn't there. Why won't she believe me when I tell her that I didn't get a lap dance when I went to that titty bar and that we didn't even drink more than one beer a piece and that we were only there for like twenty minutes.....

Bada bing bada boom! You're off the hook.

So back to the jist of this post. If you know me, or if you don't know me (I could give 2 shits) and you don't like what you are reading here the solution is superty duperty simple. Don't come back to dAndyville. Seriously, if you never come back to my blog the world will be at peace, gas will drop to less than $2 a gallon, and all of the illnesses and diseases of the world will have a cure. Yep, it's that fucking simple.

OK, so now to clear up one thing. In my previous post about the Jags Pre-Season game I attended I made a terrible mistake in posting this.....

"So, some important notes from the game. No more taking the kids until they are A: old enough to drive my drunk ass home, B: old enough to get sauced up at the game with me. So you may see them back in 9-10 years."

I am terribly sorry about this statement. I completely forgot that in this state you can drive at the age of 15 if you are riding with a licensed driver over the age of 21. So check that to 8-9 years before they go to another game with me. ;-)

By the way, while I am at it and clearing the air I just want to confess that I occasionally masturbate to 70+ year old women baking chicken pot pies wearing nothing but an apron. Whatever floats your boat or sinks your submarine right?

Peace - dAndy out

P.S. I was also told I have a dumb ass blog and it really hurt my feelings. :-(

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just for the record I find your blogs effin hilarious! But that's just me a guy at heart trapt in a hot woman's body!

dAndy ManCandy said...

okie dokie, well that's a little wierd, but hey, thanks for checking out the site and for the comment. DMC

Anonymous said...

Keep up the good work dAndy. You get yourself more than 10 readers and you'll have us guys over at BFO beat.

ognihs said...

brilliant work there dAndy. i just hope that what you discovered doesn't make the intarwebs aslpode.

for real, if it can fuck up our reps it should help us clean them up, too.

Anonymous said...

I am just an outsider looking in, but seems like someone hurt you and hurt you bad. You really never truly got over them and now you're trying to make them think that you don't give a shit, when any female (cause we know it's a female) with common sense would see your cover up. You and probably your ex still chat and she thinks bad things about you that you can't prove otherwise....even with this blog. You are probably the type to take it out on ever girl that comes along after her as well. One day you will see the big picture and how stupid you sound right now. Hey, this is just my opinion. And I hope those poor girls never have to drive "yo drunk ass" home. Bless their hearts!

dAndy ManCandy said...

Wow, appreciate the responses there folks. I'm especially glad to see that I have a sykiatrest that I didn't even know about. My ability to post and spend time here in dAndyville lately has been rather limited, but I should be up and running at full speed like never before here soon. I've got some ideas I'm working on getting in the mix possibly a guest poster with a "different" point of view on sports and based on the last comment I think I'll have to have a weekly column by my sykiatrest analyzing what's going on in dAndy's head. Kind of like a deep thoughts deal or something along those lines.

I have so much to learn about myself...so much to learn.

And don't forget everything you read on the internet HAS to be true!!!

JT Roberts said...

Congrats on the viewership boost! Traffic is picking up slowly over here at the 'Scab.