TO and Roy Behind Closed Doors - Week 7

{Inside the Cowboys locker room after a Tuesday afternoon practice. Only TO and Roy Williams remain.}

TO: Roy, I just need to let you know that I really appreciate what you did out there this last week man.

Roy: What?

TO: Well, you know, after our little "talk" last week I wasn't feelin you feelin me, and you know I love me some me and I wasn't sure that you was loving you some me after we was talking about you and me and how we was gonna be here up in the big D. You feel me?

Roy: Nah, TO I don't. What are you trying to say?

TO: Your performance against the Rams man. That's what I like to see.

Roy: Yeah, but we sucked against the Rams.

TO: No, YOU sucked against the Rams. Me, I did all I could do for me, thanks to you helping me though by not doing anything to help you, made me look better for me. Feel me?

Roy: Bro, I don't know what the fuck you are trying to convey to me?

TO: First off lose that damn tude R-Dub, unless that is you want some of me up in that ass. Ok man it's like this. You and me talked last week and I told you not to come up in here and steal the sunshine away from me. I was just saying thanks to you for not fucking me by going out there and being all you could not be in order to look out for me. Feel me?

Roy: We, notice I did not say me, as a team, sucked ass out their TO. How can you thank me for contributing to a loss that impacts you and me and the whole team?

TO: Listen you little punk ass faggot, you know exactly what me is talking about to YOU. Now I should be fuckin pissed at you right now for fucking me by not getting hurt like I told you to for me, but I kind of like what you did for me last week instead. You didn't catch the first pass the whole game, which made me look even more like the fuckin star on this team which helps me in my quest to carry this team and step up for me to lead us to the super bowl while that little fuckboy Romo is hurt. You know that fucker don't be thinking about me, but see you and me we be thinking alike and shit. You be looking out for me and I appreciate that me look shit you got kickin bro. That's all I'm saying to ya man. Ya feel me?

Roy: Nah TO, I ain't down with that man we don't think anything alike.

TO: You have got to be the most stupidest regardedest mutha fucka somebody like me has ever fuckin seen dumbass? Let me break it down real simple like. Jerry gotdamn Jones tells me every fuckin day of the week how much of a star I am on this team. It don't matter what day of the week it is for me, Jerry will go out of his way to let me know how much I mean to this team. Hell, he even calls me everyday during the off season. He's a hell of a texter too. You feel ME Roy? Do you fuckin feel ME bitch?

Roy: Dude, you said I was the regardedest person you have ever seen. What the hell is that supposed to mean?

TO: Bitch, you don't question what TO is saying to you. You know what I fuckin mean.

Roy: No, no I don't TO.

TO: That's because you is regarded.

Roy: What the fuck are you trying to tell me Terr...

{TO puts his hand over Roy's mouth}

TO: Hold the fuck up right there. I ain't gonna left you even finish. Don't even think about finishing that because I already told you don't nobody call me Terrell, but my momma damnit! I'm sorry you are so fucking regarded that you don't even know what that means, but what regarded is is when you are a little slow, you rode the short bus to school when you was a kid, or your face don't look quite right, eyes all close together with that big ass forehead. You feel me now?

Roy: No, you stupid bitch!!! It's retarded man, fucking retarded which is what you are dumbass!

TO: Watch ya mouth boy?

Roy: Man fuck you TO

TO: Don't disrespect me like that punkass. You hear me!! You hear me!!!

{TO turns around to find a note left by Roy}

Roy's Note: I'm outta here and this week I'm gone blow up and you'll be playing second fiddle to me in this country bumfucked town. It's own now bitch!

TO: Oh heyall nah!