From zee couch - Dr. C

Hello zer. My name iz Dr. Cindamind, and I am dAndy'z pzychiatrizt. Today I'mz goingz to take you along vit me for an increeeedible journey inzide to zee inner vorkingz of his vittle brain. Thiz veek dAndy haz had hard time dealing vit zee deprezzion regarding zee commentz zat were directed at zee quality of hiz weblog or blog az you americanized peoplez zo call it. Zee hate inzpired commentz haz rezulted in dAndy hazzing feelingz of tearful zadness inzide hiz heart. Theeze feelingz haz made him afraid to vrite anyzing for hiz weblog az he fearz more negative commentary may be projected hiz vay if he zhould pozt more arteecles on hiz blog. dAndy haz very very very fragile feelingz zat when put in zad place can makez him curl up into zee feetal pozition on zee floor of zee zhower and zlowly zob until he fallz azleep in a puddle of hiz own tearz.

I haz prezcribed zat dAndy take zee following actionz for theeze upcoming veekend in order to cure hiz large feelingz of zadness:

#1 - He needz to conzume enormous amountz of zee alcohol in order to remove hiz thoughtz from zee negativity. Theez vill alzo helpz heem to reestablizh hiz confidence in hiz ablilitiez to contrive what it iz he vishes to vrite about it.

#2 - dAndy neez to geet lotz of zleep! Zo no waking up before zee lunch hour.

#3 - I haz recommended that he spend all of Zaturday watching every pozzible moment of zee college footbal that iz pozzible az it will alzo free zee mind. Ezpecially zee Gatorz verzuz Arkanzaw.

#4 - dAndy will be requezted to break away from zee collegiate footbal gamez when zee fight between Kimbo and Zhamrock comes on. He muzt alzo zee zee fight with the preeety young lady girl as well. She'z zee hot ztuff dAndy needz to be thinking about az he fallz quietly to zleep in a drunken ztate zo that he weel haz very very very zweet dreamz in hiz sleep.

#5 - On Zunday I prezcribe that he zhould be completley inundated with zee NFL football vhile keeping cloze vatchful eye on the fantazy impacts by zee playz throughout zee day. Along with zee football dAndy muzt bring TV from garage to inzide or TV from inzide to garage zo he can concurrently view zee NASCAR raze at zee big track in Talladega. (I did not tell dAndy thiz, but if zee Dale Jr vould vin the raze it would truly be zee boozt he needz to geet back on the track [no pun intended - Dr. C funny guy vright?])

#6 - The Zunday night football contezt betveen zee Jaguarz and The Zteelers iz alzo zomezing zat dAndy zhould not mizz. A victory by zee Jagz will only take heem furzer along in heez journey to complete healing and alzo help heem to have happy happy dreams after vatching the pretty leaderz of the cheerz do zer vittle dancing at game.

I feel that by takin zeez ztepz dAndy shall regain hiz self ezteem and natural talentz of creating funny haha ztuff for hiz weblog. Although, I did not order dAndy to haz hiz clipboard and pen and paper with him at all timez, I did make zee reccomendation zat he should keep it cloze by in caze hiz giftz return zurpizingly.

My only conzern iz zat zee teamz dAndy wants to vin could loze and he could loze in zee fantazy football. If one or all of zeez zings take plaze. It could zend dAndy into zpiraling virlvind of dizazter in vich I do not know if I could help heem to revcover from.

Good veekend to all, zee you next time. - Dr. C