Fantastical Report - Week 11

Well, what a fucktastic week for me in fantasy. After much debate I benched Mewelde and Willie P and played Slaton. That along with picking up and playing Tyler Thigpen were my moves of the week and the only reason I even have a chance of still winning. Pretty much every other player I had shat their pants. Andre Johnson - 55 yds NO TD, B Marsh - 89 yds NO TD, Chris Johnson - 88 total yds NO TD, Purple Jesus - 85 yds NO TD, Scobee - 2 PAfuckingTs. Yards are great in most leagues but in this league no TDs pretty much means very low points. I played Arizona's defense who had a decent day.

So with that said I take an 8 point lead into MNF. Here's the twist though. I have Kellen Winslow and my opponent has Brady Quinn. Kind of a fucked up situ if you ask me. So basically I need Quinn's only TD throws (if any) and the majority of his success to be to Winslow and I'm skraight. I'll get more points off the rec'v yds than he will for throwing with 20/pt vs 50/pt and if someone else gets a TD then I'll need some picks and/or fumbles to hang on to my lead. So I need all 2 of you to help me in pulling for Brady Quinn to either get in a car crash on the way to the game, oversleep and miss the game because of all the fun he had at a 12 guy orgy, or simply get knocked out of the game 1st play with a broken sphincter.

On another note, if I win this week I will stand alone a top the standings with a record of 9-2 bitches! The guy I am currently tied with at 8-2 is down by 40 pts with Marshawn Lynch left to play. Anyone predicting Marshawn to get 200 yds and 4 TDs tonight? Didn't think so.