Fantasy Football Blows

I hate fantasy football. Yeah, that's right I fuckin hate it. I know, I know, I just said a week or so ago how much I love fantasy, but now I wish the poindexter with no athletic ability whatsoever that satisfied his lifelong dreams of stepping on the field by deciding to have a game in which he lives vicariously through a roster of players that actually are on the field would have just ended up being a puddle in his mother's belly button instead of ever being brought in to the world. I got fucked this week in case you couldn't tell!!!!

Let's start with the QBs. I had Hasselbeck and Trent Edwards. I played Trent, go figure. He gets knocked the fuck out like 3 plays in. Just f'n great! What did my back up do? SUCK, that's what he did. Needless to say I went on a fantasy QB shopping spree this AM and at 50 cents a pop I was a big spender. I tossed my garbage QBs away and got Pennington and Carson Palmer. I'm sure to win the $$ now!!!! What am I saying? I'm screwed!!!

How about my WRs you say? Oh guess what, they fucked me too. DeSean Jackson made a little magic happen for dAndy with his return TD, but if I combine his rec'v yards with Mar Har and Brandon Marshall I get a grand total of 65 frickin yards and no TDs. Just shoot me and take me out of my misery now. Oh yeah, and Roddy White who I dropped last week blows up and scores a TD, love it. Not to mention I benched Andre Johnson who has consistently fucked me all year, only to get reversed fucked by him this week with a 131 yd performance with a TD, thanks allot asshole! Marvin Harrison got tossed (fuck you by the way) this AM and this week it'll be Marshall, DeSean, and Andre getting me back on track right? DOUBT IT!

As for the TE, I guess I can't complain. I picked up Fasano from Miami since Winslow was on a bye and he caught a few passes for 47 yds. Way to put that extra effort in to gain one more yard after the catch so I can get another point in this jacked up scoring system I'm in cocktard.

Ah the RBs. I put some faith into Chris Johnson even though he was facing Baltimore's strong D. I figure they will try to stuff the middle and the speedster will break outside and bust up some shit. Well, I was wrong, way wrong. I got two points out of him. Adrian Peterson aka Purple Jesus is my only hope as he's playing tonight. Sounds good except for the fact that I am down 23 points and facing Drew Brees. There's always that slim chance he could rush for 250 yds and 4 TDs and Drew gets hurt driving to the stadium right? I mean that far fetched last glimpse of pulling off a win that like could actually happen in real life!

And that's why I love fantasy football.