Hello zer. My name iz Dr. Cindamind, and I am dAndy'z pzychiatrizt. Today I'mz goingz to take you along vit me for an increeeedible journey inzide to zee inner vorkingz of his vittle brain. Thiz veek dAndy haz had hard time dealing vit zee deprezzion regarding zee commentz zat were directed at zee quality of hiz weblog or blog az you americanized peoplez zo call it. Zee hate inzpired commentz haz rezulted in dAndy hazzing feelingz of tearful zadness inzide hiz heart. Theeze feelingz haz made him afraid to vrite anyzing for hiz weblog az he fearz more negative commentary may be projected hiz vay if he zhould pozt more arteecles on hiz blog. dAndy haz very very very fragile feelingz zat when put in zad place can makez him curl up into zee feetal pozition on zee floor of zee zhower and zlowly zob until he fallz azleep in a puddle of hiz own tearz.
I haz prezcribed zat dAndy take zee following actionz for theeze upcoming veekend in order to cure hiz large feelingz of zadness:
#1 - He needz to conzume enormous amountz of zee alcohol in order to remove hiz thoughtz from zee negativity. Theez vill alzo helpz heem to reestablizh hiz confidence in hiz ablilitiez to contrive what it iz he vishes to vrite about it.
#2 - dAndy neez to geet lotz of zleep! Zo no waking up before zee lunch hour.
#3 - I haz recommended that he spend all of Zaturday watching every pozzible moment of zee college footbal that iz pozzible az it will alzo free zee mind. Ezpecially zee Gatorz verzuz Arkanzaw.
#4 - dAndy will be requezted to break away from zee collegiate footbal gamez when zee fight between Kimbo and Zhamrock comes on. He muzt alzo zee zee fight with the preeety young lady girl as well. She'z zee hot ztuff dAndy needz to be thinking about az he fallz quietly to zleep in a drunken ztate zo that he weel haz very very very zweet dreamz in hiz sleep.
#5 - On Zunday I prezcribe that he zhould be completley inundated with zee NFL football vhile keeping cloze vatchful eye on the fantazy impacts by zee playz throughout zee day. Along with zee football dAndy muzt bring TV from garage to inzide or TV from inzide to garage zo he can concurrently view zee NASCAR raze at zee big track in Talladega. (I did not tell dAndy thiz, but if zee Dale Jr vould vin the raze it would truly be zee boozt he needz to geet back on the track [no pun intended - Dr. C funny guy vright?])
#6 - The Zunday night football contezt betveen zee Jaguarz and The Zteelers iz alzo zomezing zat dAndy zhould not mizz. A victory by zee Jagz will only take heem furzer along in heez journey to complete healing and alzo help heem to have happy happy dreams after vatching the pretty leaderz of the cheerz do zer vittle dancing at game.
I feel that by takin zeez ztepz dAndy shall regain hiz self ezteem and natural talentz of creating funny haha ztuff for hiz weblog. Although, I did not order dAndy to haz hiz clipboard and pen and paper with him at all timez, I did make zee reccomendation zat he should keep it cloze by in caze hiz giftz return zurpizingly.
My only conzern iz zat zee teamz dAndy wants to vin could loze and he could loze in zee fantazy football. If one or all of zeez zings take plaze. It could zend dAndy into zpiraling virlvind of dizazter in vich I do not know if I could help heem to revcover from.
Good veekend to all, zee you next time. - Dr. C
Showing posts with label Talladega. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Talladega. Show all posts
Friday, October 3, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Greatest Race Memory.....
I've been to a few races here and there over the years. Several Daytona 500s and 400s which includes the Firecracker 400s from back in the day. One was the July race in 1990 when like 25 cars crashed right in front of me in turn 1 on the 1st or 2nd lap. I had chunks and flakes of rubber from the tires falling all over me. I can still vividly remember "The King" riding back to the garage on the hood of his #43 STP car wearing his legendary cowboy hat in tow behind the wrecker waving to all the fans. Yeah, that was the very 1st race I ever attended and I was hooked. I also went to the Atlanta Spring race in 2005 which was a completely boring race up until Carl Edwards passed Jimmy Johnson for the win on the last lap coming out of turn 4 bumpin and bangin all the way. The best part about that was that we were sitting next to 2 big time JJ fans from up north who were drinking Seagram's 7 and Sprite all day talking mad shit throughout the race. Then Carl won and they magically disappeared. I could go on for days about the memories of races I have attended, but nothing compares to Talladega in the fall of 2004. By far the best race I have ever seen P.E.R.I.O.D!
I went with my wife at the time and her parents. You're probably thinking wow that sounds great. Well, it wasn't great, it was f'in awesome to put it mildly. After a 7+ hour car ride and one stop at a kick ass Pecan Farm store (great shit is all I can say) we arrive at the Super 8 motel just outside of Talladega, in a town called Sylacauga. Nothing 5-star, but perfect in so many ways. This joint was conveniently located next to a bar with a Wal-mart (aka redneck heaven) across the street so we were sot! Now it was time to get busy.
After several cold beers and grilling some steaks in the motel parking lot (can't beat it) we meet a guy named Steve. Steve is with the band playing at the bar next to the motel and invites us to see them play. He even told us to tell the dude at the door we know Steve with the band and we could get right in there no problem. We was gonna be VI muthafuckin Ps baby!
So we continue to hit the sauce in preparation to head the to "The Tavern" as it's called and the next thing you know a hauler pulls into the hotel parking lot. And to our surprise it was hauling an Elliot Sadler M&Ms car. Holy Shit!!! We couldn't believe it. We talk to the driver and discover it is just a demo car, but the thing does run. After begging to take her for a spin with no luck we settle for the guy firing up the engine and man it was frickin SWEET! That big V8 was purring like a kitty, actually roaring like a lion is more appropriate!
So off to The Tavern we go. We walk up to the door like we are total badasses. The dude at the door asks for the cover charge and we're like whoa buddy, we know Steve with the band. So after the awkward moment of silence and intimidating stare, we pay the cover and go in. We had arrived at redneck paradise.
For starters we quickly discover they this fine drinking establishment does not serve Bud Light in the bottle. If you wanted a Budweiser bottled product you had one choice and one choice only, Bud Ice, which my wife proudly downed like a champ. The wide array of canned beers was unsurpassed though I must say. First bar I have ever been in that actually had Busch Light available. So we grab our beers and grab a table. The first person to catch our eye cutting the rug was Elvira in the flesh (or so we thought). This chick had the black hair, the bangs, the black outfit, and the boobs down to the effin T. CLASSIC! She was tearing up the dance floor too. Then there was Steve and the boys jamming Southern Rock and Country on stage. "Hey Steve, remember us?" We were like groupies. So everyone is dancing and having a gold ol' time when it happens. The moment we had all been waiting for, but didn't know we were waiting for it. The band cranks out Sweet Home Alabama and dammit man this place was rockin and we knew we were in Dega without a doubt. The stage could not have been set any better!!!
I am awoken the next morning at like 430am, still drunk, and it's time to load up and head to the track. I AM S.T.O.K.E.D.! We get there before 6am and things are already stirring around the track. We fire up the Coleman grill and it's time for some bacon and eggs. That shit hit the spot. The sun begins to peak up after we eat and it's time for a little snooze, but wait, why sleep? We are in Dega baby and the track is just right there in front of us. I had to go drive the nextel simulators. What a BLAST! I'm not sure what I did, but I spent the last 15 seconds of the race flipping and rolling end over end. I guess it was my Elliot Sadler Talladega impersonation. Hell yeah, that shit was cool!
So the Busch Light drinking commences and a little while there after we head to the track. This of course after we hit the endless sea of trailers with shirts, hats, memorabilia, and everything in between. Once we got to our seats I was like DUDE! I was seriously like a kid in a candy store. This place was magnificent and our seats were killer. We sat on the very far left edge of the front grand stand probably a little over 3/4 of the way up. We had the most unbelievable view of what would eventually be cars coming out of Turns 3 into 4 and then down the front stretch. The next thing you know we all rose for the Star Spangled Banner and then then my most favorite part of the pre-race festivities, the FLYOVER. It was on baby!
From the get go it was pretty much all about the #8 Budweiser Chevy with Dale Jr. at the wheel. He dominated all the way up to the point in which he got caught in the pits under caution with like 20 laps to go. We went from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows in a split second. Jr. was done for, or so we thought. However, once that happened a totally effin awesome race got even better. When the green dropped on the restart what I witnessed was down right amazing. Jr. began passing cars at will and was literally driving his ass off. He gained around 17-18 spots in as many laps and when he took the lead I still to this day have never heard a crowd so loud. And believe me when I say that, it was nothing even compared to some of the greatest Gator games I've been to at the Swamp in Gainesville. The loudest I ever heard the swamp sound was like a funeral going on compared to the noise at Dega. The burnout outfuckinstanding, the post race comments fanfuckintastic. So fantastic in fact that it cost Jr. 25 points in the chase standings for dropping an "S" bomb on National Live TV. Jr basically just said it was some fun shit out there and I know it had to be considering how much fun it was to watch,
Jr. kind of fell off from that point on and ended up finishing 5th for the season, but at that moment in time I had never seen on TV, much less in person, such an amazing and entertaining race. If Jr. could drive with that kind of aggression, passion, and confidence these days I believe he'd be leading the points right now.
I went with my wife at the time and her parents. You're probably thinking wow that sounds great. Well, it wasn't great, it was f'in awesome to put it mildly. After a 7+ hour car ride and one stop at a kick ass Pecan Farm store (great shit is all I can say) we arrive at the Super 8 motel just outside of Talladega, in a town called Sylacauga. Nothing 5-star, but perfect in so many ways. This joint was conveniently located next to a bar with a Wal-mart (aka redneck heaven) across the street so we were sot! Now it was time to get busy.
After several cold beers and grilling some steaks in the motel parking lot (can't beat it) we meet a guy named Steve. Steve is with the band playing at the bar next to the motel and invites us to see them play. He even told us to tell the dude at the door we know Steve with the band and we could get right in there no problem. We was gonna be VI muthafuckin Ps baby!
So we continue to hit the sauce in preparation to head the to "The Tavern" as it's called and the next thing you know a hauler pulls into the hotel parking lot. And to our surprise it was hauling an Elliot Sadler M&Ms car. Holy Shit!!! We couldn't believe it. We talk to the driver and discover it is just a demo car, but the thing does run. After begging to take her for a spin with no luck we settle for the guy firing up the engine and man it was frickin SWEET! That big V8 was purring like a kitty, actually roaring like a lion is more appropriate!
So off to The Tavern we go. We walk up to the door like we are total badasses. The dude at the door asks for the cover charge and we're like whoa buddy, we know Steve with the band. So after the awkward moment of silence and intimidating stare, we pay the cover and go in. We had arrived at redneck paradise.
For starters we quickly discover they this fine drinking establishment does not serve Bud Light in the bottle. If you wanted a Budweiser bottled product you had one choice and one choice only, Bud Ice, which my wife proudly downed like a champ. The wide array of canned beers was unsurpassed though I must say. First bar I have ever been in that actually had Busch Light available. So we grab our beers and grab a table. The first person to catch our eye cutting the rug was Elvira in the flesh (or so we thought). This chick had the black hair, the bangs, the black outfit, and the boobs down to the effin T. CLASSIC! She was tearing up the dance floor too. Then there was Steve and the boys jamming Southern Rock and Country on stage. "Hey Steve, remember us?" We were like groupies. So everyone is dancing and having a gold ol' time when it happens. The moment we had all been waiting for, but didn't know we were waiting for it. The band cranks out Sweet Home Alabama and dammit man this place was rockin and we knew we were in Dega without a doubt. The stage could not have been set any better!!!
I am awoken the next morning at like 430am, still drunk, and it's time to load up and head to the track. I AM S.T.O.K.E.D.! We get there before 6am and things are already stirring around the track. We fire up the Coleman grill and it's time for some bacon and eggs. That shit hit the spot. The sun begins to peak up after we eat and it's time for a little snooze, but wait, why sleep? We are in Dega baby and the track is just right there in front of us. I had to go drive the nextel simulators. What a BLAST! I'm not sure what I did, but I spent the last 15 seconds of the race flipping and rolling end over end. I guess it was my Elliot Sadler Talladega impersonation. Hell yeah, that shit was cool!
So the Busch Light drinking commences and a little while there after we head to the track. This of course after we hit the endless sea of trailers with shirts, hats, memorabilia, and everything in between. Once we got to our seats I was like DUDE! I was seriously like a kid in a candy store. This place was magnificent and our seats were killer. We sat on the very far left edge of the front grand stand probably a little over 3/4 of the way up. We had the most unbelievable view of what would eventually be cars coming out of Turns 3 into 4 and then down the front stretch. The next thing you know we all rose for the Star Spangled Banner and then then my most favorite part of the pre-race festivities, the FLYOVER. It was on baby!
From the get go it was pretty much all about the #8 Budweiser Chevy with Dale Jr. at the wheel. He dominated all the way up to the point in which he got caught in the pits under caution with like 20 laps to go. We went from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows in a split second. Jr. was done for, or so we thought. However, once that happened a totally effin awesome race got even better. When the green dropped on the restart what I witnessed was down right amazing. Jr. began passing cars at will and was literally driving his ass off. He gained around 17-18 spots in as many laps and when he took the lead I still to this day have never heard a crowd so loud. And believe me when I say that, it was nothing even compared to some of the greatest Gator games I've been to at the Swamp in Gainesville. The loudest I ever heard the swamp sound was like a funeral going on compared to the noise at Dega. The burnout outfuckinstanding, the post race comments fanfuckintastic. So fantastic in fact that it cost Jr. 25 points in the chase standings for dropping an "S" bomb on National Live TV. Jr basically just said it was some fun shit out there and I know it had to be considering how much fun it was to watch,
Jr. kind of fell off from that point on and ended up finishing 5th for the season, but at that moment in time I had never seen on TV, much less in person, such an amazing and entertaining race. If Jr. could drive with that kind of aggression, passion, and confidence these days I believe he'd be leading the points right now.
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