Romeo you are one bad mofo!

Dear Romeo Crenel,

Hi, my name is dAndy and I just wanted to let you know that I am one of your biggest fans. No, not size wise like a man of your stature, but I just really appreciate your coaching abilities and talents. Nope, I am not a loyal Browns fan either, but tonight I wish you and your team nothing but the best. You see coach, I play fantasy football as many of your fans do and right now I am in a pinch. I had some big days from my players yesterday, but there was a lack of touchdowns from my horses like Chris Johnson, Steve Slaton, and Adrian Peterson. Sure Andre Johnson had a monster day and Thigpen did nice for me as well. but damnit if my fantasy destiny doesn't lie solely in your hands. I'm up by 9 points right now with no way of scoring any more. The guy I am playing has Brian Westbrook going tonight along with Philadelphia's defense. Now who in their right mind would put their fantasy life on the line against you and your talented offense? That's what I was thinking too. This guys is taking a stab at you personally and I think you should take that negativity and turn it into something positive tonight. A jackass like that doesn't deserve to win, don't you think? So, just make sure you score lots of points tonight, don't turn the ball over, don't give up any sacks, and while I'm at it don't punt at all and just try onside kicks all night. That will surely best your opponent.

Now as for this Westbrook fellow. This guy has been showing his ass as of late and I believe you and your men can seek out and destroy him. No, not like kill him or anything (although that would be pretty fuckin cool!!), but I think you need to prove to yourself, the fans, and every fucking body that you good sir, can stop him. That's right I am bestowing upon you the great honor of eliminating Brian Westbrook from the play calls tonight. You can do it!!! Now, don't take this the wrong way because we both know you are completely capable of making this happen without any advice from a nobody like me. Hell, I'm not even that good at Madden on Playstation, but I do have a little defensive strategy advice for making this happen if you choose to listen.

First off, this dude is all kind of banged up. I mean shit, it's like every joint in his body has been on the injury list each week. So, attack those injuries. Ankle and knee twisting is a must. Get him to tweak that shit 1st play of the game and then your set. They'll take him out since they want to save him for the post season. And if they put that Buckhalter guy in you will destroy him too. Now, let's just say that this injure him tactic doesn't pan out. Then we, I mean you, go to plan B. Part 1 of that plan is this guy.....




I want Shaun Rogers to do one of two things each play. The number one bestest thing would be for him to land on Westbrook each play and no not just a little slip and fall, "Oopsie, I fell on you." I'm talking about some WWE hardcore weight momentum shifting collisions. Essentially Shaun Rogers is so gotdamn big he should be able to leave a crater with the body outline of Westbrook in the grass. Oh, you're playing on artificial turf this week? Even better. Give Shaun an all you can eat gift card to all 2,625 restaurants in Cleveland if he can crack the concrete under the turf with Westbrook's body. Hell, I'll throw in $50 on it. Sure you may get a penalty or two, but what's a flag when you succeed at your mission?

Now let's say that doesn't work or Shaun gets tired. I recommend you move him back off the line about 3 yards and put him in a linebacker stance. Then when the ball is snapped have him run, jump, and fly horizontally towards the linemen and take out like 4 of them in one shot, BOOM! Then there will be hardly any blockers for Westbrook and your guys can get em.

The other part of plan B is to assign let's say 6 members of the defense to strictly focus on Brian. Yup, all these fuckers need to do is go after Westbrook on every single play. Two linemen, three linebackers, and a safety should do the trick.

Do all this good sir and I think you have a chance! Not to mention your #1 fan will continue to march towards fantasy greatness!

Thanks Romeo,

dAndy

Who woulda thunk?

So, I have decided to take the epic journey of growing a beard for the winter. I'm about 3 weeks in and after tossing around some design options I took my search to the interwebs and found some great shit! Check out these links....

http://www.worldbeardchampionships.com/

http://www.akbeardclub.com/judgingcatergori.html

http://images.google.com/images?gbv=2&hl=en&safe=off&q=crazy+beards

So, should I bow up and make a run for the world championships in Alaska in 2009?

My Emo Band Name

I stumbled across some dumb shit this morning that I thought I would share and no, I'm not anywhere close to being Emo!

My emo band's name is Sunnyday Immaculate Application.
Take The Emo Band Name Generator today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

Fantastical Report - Week 13 - PLAYOFFS?!?! PLAYOFFS?!?!

Well, I fucking blew up big time this week. I broke 100 pts for the 1st time this season in what is one fucked up league for scoring points. Me busting up 108 points is the great news. Now for the bad news......the dude I played busted out the high score of the week and the season at 135. So essentially I could have beaten the shit out of everybody in the league but this guy. It's all good though. I'm 10-3 and roll into the playoffs as the #1 seed. This week I face the #8 team, 5-8 NUMNUTZ, and based on projections I am a 17 point favorite so I am liking what I'm smelling right now. I also like the bracket I drew with several late season peakers in the other bracket. If I can win the next 2 games I break even on the $ for the season. Win the next 3 games and I'm looking at a little holiday bonus of about $500!

This week started off fucking lovely for me. As I stuffed entirely too much good food in my gut Thursday I watched Chris Johnson destroy the Lions. The fact that Fat Ass Lendale started getting the ball and got 2 touches chapped my ass a little, but either way CJ had a stud performance. His big day helped offset the fact that my opponent had Tennessee's D against the putrid Lions. Homeboy also had TO and his 98 yds and a touch on Thursday. I was down by 18, but wasn't worried not one little bit.

On to Sunday, and the blow up festival that my opponent had. He played Aaron Rodgers who busted out a 298 yd, 3 TD, 1 2pt conv. day against Tyler Thigpen's miserable no TD day. He had been solid for me up to that point, but the Oakland pass D fucked him up pretty good. I could have played Neck Beard instead and gained 7 more points. I think I'll give Tyler the nod against Denver this week, but Orton against my brutal Jags doesn't seem like a bad option either. I just keep waiting on the Jags to have "that" game. You know the type of game where they actually play up to the high pre-season expectations instead of playing like a struggling division II NCAA squad.

Receiver wise I was up against Lee Evans who had 80 yds and no TDs, but my boy B Marsh continued his string of disappointing performances with only 55 yards. I should have played DeSean Jackson instead. Not sure who I should play out of those 2 this week. I just know B Marsh has got to blow up sometime and would hate to have him on the bench when it happens. I also played Andre Johnson who had a solid game last night with 75 yds and a touch. That was a hell of play on that TD by the way. Had I not needed him and Steve Slaton to get 3 TDs and 200 yds a piece to come back and tie the fucker that was beating my ass I would have been more excited about it.

With that said I had Slaton and Adrian Peterson in the RB slots along with CJ. Both had great days and you are probably thinking, damn, how did I lose? Well, when your opponent has Thomas Jones and D'Angelo Williams and their monster TD days you fucking lose that's how! Luckily Michal Turner didn't have a great day as my opponent had him as well.

I had a decent game out of Dustin Keller, although I am waiting on him to put a TD in the mix with those yards he keeps piling up from the TE spot. Carney with the Giants was solid for me as well with 3 FGs and 2 PATs. Pittsburgh's D also had a great game in shutting down Cassel and the Patriots.

So that wraps up the regular season. Only a couple of questions/concerns going into the first playoff game. Do I trust Pitt's D against Dallas or start NE's D against the miserable Seahawks. That is pretty much a no brainer as I have already flipped over to New England, but they are both projected for 13 and not to mention Indy's D is available versus the Bungles of Cincy...hmmmmm. CHECK THAT: JUST PICKED UP INDY'S D AND DROPPED NE. INDY VS CINCY THIS WEEK AND VS DETROIT NEXT WEEK = NO BRAINER. Other than that the call is Thigpen versus Denver or Orton vs Jax as previously mentioned or making a late season pickup of Trent Edwards, Jeff Garcia, or maybe even Flacco. I also have Willie P on the bench. How can I start him over Slaton, Chris Johnson, and Purple Jesus?

As always your one comment is greatly appreciated!

P.S. GO GATORS!!!!